Let’s Go Where the WiFi is Weak

We left a balmy 85 degree Bali, Indonesia in the morning and found ourselves 4,600 feet up in Kathmandu by nightfall. We pulled sweaters out of our bags as we ran across the tarmac and felt instantly vindicated for carrying unused warm clothes around for so long. It goes against my penny-pinching instincts but we have learned from experience that it alleviates a lot of marital strife to pay extra for someone to meet us at the airport. Thankfully, a stout Nepali fellow from our hotel greeted us as we exited. Our trolley cart got caught in the potholes, a kid tantrum-ed and fell asleep which basically incapacitated one adult, there were what seemed to be a million taxi drivers yelling at the same time, clouds of dirt were illuminated by the headlights of many freakishly small minivans, and it smelled primal. Welcome to Nepal. Namaste dammit, namaste.

Of all the Western-mind blowing things in Nepal, there are a few completely bonkers places that I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you about. The first of which is Pashupatinath Temple. We have seen a lot of temples in the past 8 months, but this one was our first active Hindu temple. Without passing any judgement, Hinduism to an ignorant outsider is really intimidating with its pantheon of multi-armed, half-animal, half-human deities and kinda sexual overtones. Also intimidating are the 300ish very aggressive monkeys that live on the temple grounds. So, we hired a guide to better understand the temple’s significance AND to offer another line of defense against the straight-up rabid primates. I kid you not, he told us not to even look at the monkeys as you pass them because they would attack. We carried the kids on our backs, and Falcon spent the next hour with his face buried in my hair as he channeled his inner “happy place” far from Kathmandu.

I was blessed by a Sadhu, but of course I smeared the red powder and it looks like I killed someone.

Dating back to 400 B.C., Pashupatinath Temple is one of the most sacred temples in the world and (to make a long story short) is said to be the built on the site of where Shiva somehow lost a horn, which I think we can all agree is a pleasantry for “penis.” The inner sanctum of the temple is rightfully reserved for practicing Hindus and is a pilgrimage site for people nearing death, as it is believed that those who die in the temple will be reincarnated as a human, regardless of their actions during life. Because of this, elderly Hindus who are not likely to recover, are housed in a section of the temple as they await death. When a person does finally pass away, a ceremony is conducted on the banks of the Bagmati River or “Mini-Ganges” as our guide called it. The glorified, trash strewn stream runs through the center of the temple, and bodies are hauled down the water’s edge, washed with water running down from the temple, and then carried by family members to platforms for cremation. As you can imagine, we were totally fascinated. Funeral pyres burned in the background, and troops of the rage-screaming monkeys leapt from building to building, as our poor guide waited for us to finish peppering him with questions that were just utterly and completely mundane for him. Like, “Duh, of course the bodies and wood ashes from the cremation are just pushed into the river afterwards.” And, “No, it doesn’t bother anyone that there is a concert happening directly across the river from where someone’s mother is crying hysterically as a fire is lit in her husband’s mouth.”

Three funeral pyres on the banks of the Bagmati River.

Male relatives preparing a family member’s body for cremation by placing it on the concrete slab by the river and then pouring holy water from the temple over it.

Like this place isn’t wild enough, there is a shrine to Kali, the destroyer Goddess, where human sacrifices used to be made. Today, the Gods are appeased on holidays with animal sacrifices of cattle, ducks, goats and rabbits inside the walls of small stone temple adorned with an array of sexual acts. The temple is also home a handful of sadhus, or wandering holy men, that live in caves on the property. It is said that they have renounced worldly life and hope through meditation and contemplation to improve their karma and that of the community at large. The few that we saw sat together asking for exorbitant amounts of money in exchange for a small blessing and photo with their insanely long dreadlocks over your shoulder. Finally, as I mentioned earlier, after the cremation the remains are swept into a heaping, smoking pile in the Bagmati river-stream. Over the course of the 1-2 hours that we were there, we saw four cremations and it struck me how much debris was entering the water just from this temple. When I asked the guide about it, he mentioned that it was part of the cycle of life. Women do their washing downstream as the ashes and fat from the fires act like soap and help to clean clothes, and further down, the muck from the river bed is harvested to make bricks. All I could think was that although one’s soul maybe coming back as human, it seemed a little disheartening to know that one’s body is coming back as someone else’s tidy undies.

More on Kathmandu coming soon.

Traveling with Toddlers: Practical Advice for the Flight

Navigating the strict rules of the airport while carrying all of my belongings AND toting cranky or sleeping little ones sends me into a panic attack just thinking about it. However, I have traveled with my two toddlers enough to know that we will make it and the trouble will be worth it. The following are a few of our tried and true methods for dealing with the chaos of the airport and flights.

1. Bring the kid gear.

No matter how cheap the airline is they always allow a car seat and a stroller to be checked FOR FREE. So, if your big-ass double stroller will make your trip more bearable, then bring it. Typically, you can leave it at the departure gate when you get on the flight and either pick it up at the arrival gate or at the baggage claim. Just remember that if it is not checked at the front counter, you have to get that beast through security so empty it out in advance and save your sanity for the flight.

2. DON’T pay extra to book seats together on budget airlines.

I can’t even fathom that a child would ever have to sit alone on a flight. If the airline doesn’t automatically move your child to sit with you, then the passengers will because no one in their right mind that wants to sit next to a kid. It’s also highly unlikely that another passenger wants to sit next to a single parent and a child when the rest of their party is nearby. We took this gamble on a few budget European airlines, never once was it an issue. The airline put all of us together and we saved big bucks by not paying for seat selection. This may not be true, however, if the seats are booked separately. Although I still maintain that any person who has ever encountered a child would make sure that they are united with their parents for a flight.

3. DON’T get stuck holding your wiggly child for the entire flight.

If you have a lap infant on a long-haul flight, ask the check-in counter or flight attendants for seats with a bassinet. They are often located at the front of the rows and a small child can sleep the flight away, freeing you up to do normal things like eat with both hands or go to the bathroom. LIFESAVER! For toddlers and other small children, we bring small blankets to make nests on the floor for them to stretch out on. I suspect that this is frowned upon by most airlines since they are not strapped in but it is one of those risk/benefit situations that each parent must weigh for themselves.

4. Reuse water bottles.

Of course, security does not allow you to bring liquids through, but nothing says that you can’t fill a water bottle up at a drinking fountain afterwards. My family drinks an insane amount of water and the airlines never seem to supply enough to keep everyone hydrated. The real pro tip here is bringing mix-in powders to make other drinks. We bring emergen-C for a quick boost of vitamins, Gatorade powder for electrolytes, Starbucks Via for our caffeine habit, kool-aid, hot chocolate, even dry soups. The powders take very little space in a carry-on, yet make a huge difference. This can also be taken a step further by bringing instant oatmeal or macaroni and cheese cups that only require hot water. The one caveat is that some bottles can erupt under pressure and spew water many feet in the air if they remain closed during take-off. My children have both been blasted by shower-force water to the face and on one rare occasion the passenger sitting directly behind us was the unlucky recipient of our mini-geyser.

5. Let your roller luggage do all the work

You have your luggage, your giant stroller, probably your toddler’s entire bedroom packed up into some kind of bag, maybe a car seat. How do you carry it all? The real answer is, “you probably don’t.” We take multiple trips, we ask strangers for help, and we use the expensive airport carts. However, there are a few gadgets that can provide a limited amount of assistance. Try attaching a bulky car seat to your rolling luggage with a strap, some even allow a child to remain in the seat.  https://www.amazon.com/Traveling-Accessories-suitcase-ultra-portable-solution/dp/B0772VL93G If you McGyver it just right, you might also be able to get a folding umbrella stroller strapped onto your roller as well. Use an extra large, rolling duffle and cram as much as you can fit in it. We’ve transported kid’s bicycles, car seats, small strollers, and the kid’s luggage within a larger duffle and then paid to check only one bag. Bonus points if toddlers can ride on the duffle as you roll it.

Stay tuned for more pro travel tips and practical advice. If you too have any helpful hints, please let us know. We want to hear it!