kara – Under 6 Overseas

344 Days Abroad

Published on July 26, 2019January 29, 2020 by karaLeave a comment

We have been abroad for 11 months and during that time we have travelled to 13 countries (14 if you count an afternoon killing time and dodging vendors at the border in Myanmar for a visa run.) We have been on more flights that I care to count and probably triple that in hotel rooms. We have dipped our toes in the Andaman Sea, the Gulf of Thailand, the South China Sea, the Java Sea and the Mediterranean. We have hired Ubers, GoJeks and Grabs, and ridden bicycles with kids in ergos, kids in seats, kids in tag-a-longs, and kids holding on for dear life. We have been in a horse-drawn cart and several bicycle rickshaws. We have chartered a helicopter, a flight and several boats. We’ve ridden in tuk-tuks, in songthaews and on the back of scooter-taxis. We’ve been on underground boats and open-ocean ferries, taken light-rail or subways, a diesel train through the countryside and a kiddie train around the mall. We’ve travelled by water buffalo, double-decker bus, gondola and longtail boat. We have rented cars and driven on both the right and the left-sides of the road and we have walked hundreds of miles.

The vast majority of the 344 days we’ve been away from home were spent just living a regular life, you know, grocery shopping, going to work or school or running errands, exercising and playing at parks. But strings of normal days have been punctuated with special events–the bucket list items–where we found ourselves awestruck, or dumbstruck, or starstruck, or physically struck (by cars, which actually happened twice.) We climbed the ancient Mesoamerican pyramids of Teotihuacan and stared into the blank eyes of the mummies of Guanajuato while in Mexico. We have kissed the Blarney Stone in Ireland, visited Stonehenge in England and participated in the Highland Games in Scotland. We searched for the Loch Ness monster, saw the Mona Lisa and stood in the front row of a Mumford and Sons concert. We bungee jumped. We hand fed elephants in Thailand and were blessed by a monk for safe travels. We visited the Angkor Wat temples and donated blood at a local hospital in Cambodia. We watched the light and sound show featuring over 42 buildings in Hong Kong from a sky bar patio. We released a lantern at the Loy Krathong festival and took a cable car over waterfalls and jungles before crossing the Golden Bridge in Vietnam. In Indonesia, we swam with sea turtles and snorkeled over a sunken statue. We saw both the Himalayan mountains of Annapurna and Everest. We witnessed the washing of a body with holy water from a Hindu temple and the cremation of the remains on the river bank in Nepal. Of course, Ben trekked to Everest base camp where he stared with his bare eyes at the tallest mountain in the world in all of its glorious wonder. We stood in Catherine de Medici’s bedroom and saw the collapsed roof of the Notre Dame Cathedral. On a brief layover in the United Arab Emirates, the kids and I visited the Burj Khalifa-the tallest building in the world. We have swung over the rice terraces in Bali, visited the Hanoi Hilton and broke into an abandoned women’s prison in Chiang Mai. We have seen the Liberty Bell, the White House and the Discovery space shuttle. And thanks to that monk’s blessing, we have managed to do with only one visit to ER and one minor bout of food poisoning.

Visiting the elephant sanctuary in Thailand

We have also grown a lot as individuals on our journey. The kids have been forced to travel for nearly a year without a stroller, making them confident road crossers and traffic minders. They have learned how to step off of escalators without help and how to buckle their own seatbelts. They have learned to drink out of water bottles in a moving car, to hold their own umbrellas upright, to get by with only a handful of toys and to go to bed by themselves without constant cuddling. We are impressed by both kids’ resilience with which they accept that they have no home, can’t speak regularly to their old friends, have to constantly leave new friends and have no control over their environment. And they have become more resourceful and patient than I could imagine. We have also travelled for 11 months without losing Falcon’s beloved Monkey Man which I consider a straight up miracle. We have kept our special, plastic, color-changing Chewbacca spoon that Falcon uses daily for his cereal, as well as more important items such as our wallets, ID cards, and cell phones.

Personally, I have gone a year without really wearing any make-up. I haven’t curled or blow dried my hair once. I occasionally pluck rogue eyebrows (although I don’t think that they ever really recovered from the over-plucking look of the 90’s.) My clothes are tattered from months of wear and line drying, and they have weathered the loss of 15 pounds in Nepal and gain of 10ish pounds in France. Grey hairs and sunspots have popped up like left and right, despite lasering the crap out of them in Thailand. Overall, one could say that I have succumbed to a low maintenance, somewhat cavewoman-like appearance. And to compound any stress that I have about returning home, I have agreed to attend my 20-year high school reunion on the way back. In fact, I will fly straight from Mexico into the heart of that madness, stretched out clothes, frazzled hair and all.

We have missed celebrating holidays like Christmas, Thanksgiving and Easter. Mother’s and Father’s days fell on different days in Europe than America so we felt a little disconnected from those holidays as well. Several of our friends have moved away from our hometown and my sister welcomed a new baby in our absence. I never thought that I would say this but we miss having a routine. We struggle not being productive, having time to ourselves and exercising. Although we have thankfully avoided some of this bizarre American presidency, we have been completely out of the loop of American politics, including the ability of vote. And…we have spent our entire savings and then some. We have cycled through a bazillion pairs of sunglasses, umbrellas, chapsticks and jars of peanut butter. We left with about 220 pounds of stuff for our move to Thailand and we will be returning with 120 pounds of bare essentials.

Overall, it’s hard to put into words all that we have seen and done without sounding vain or crazy. This year abroad may not have had resulted in a spiritual awakening or significantly altered the course of our lives but we will be returning mentally renewed and more confident. Our goal was to learn things and to have fun, and I think that we achieved that. We have checked off a lot of the items on our initial bucket list. But over the course of the past year, our bucket list has probably doubled in size, as there are many places that we would like to revisit when the kids get older and new places that we have heard about but didn’t have time to visit. For now though, we look forward to settling down a bit, planning our next adventures and binge watching some good ole American reality TV.

If Women in Nepal Prefer Dogs, What Can a Kathmandu?

Published on May 24, 2019January 25, 2020 by karaLeave a comment

I had to take a few days after arriving in Kathmandu to process all of the fascinating and mind-bending sights. After some initial culture shock, I have found that I kind of like how rugged this city is. In 2015, Nepal was devastated by a series of earthquakes registering around 8ish on the Richter scale. The earthquakes killed nearly 9,000 people and toppled thousands of buildings. It also caused an avalanche on Mt. Everest that killed 21 people making it the deadliest day on the mountain—ever. While walking around, you can still clearly see the impact the earthquakes had, as many buildings are propped up with poles, others have massive cracks and many still lie in rubble piles of concrete, bricks and stone. In fact, after the earthquakes the city sent a team of engineers around to label buildings according to safety level and placed stickers with red, yellow and green to indicate, well, how likely the building is to crush the inhabitants. Further adding to the chaos of the place, the streets are only half-paved so cars and bicycle rickshaws kick up an insane amount of dust, blanketing virtually everything both indoors and out. On a walk around town, it is not uncommon to see slabs of raw meat for sale on tables outside, vendors pushing bicycles overladen with fruit, and groups of taxi drivers chit-chatting as they wait around for passengers. But in direct contrast to the grit, one can find beautiful women wearing stunning, intricate saris of red or pink. (In fact, Falcon offered to wake up early every morning to paint my clothes to make them prettier and brighter if I wanted.) The women put a red powder dot on their foreheads for good luck, and another smudge in their hairline to indicate that they are married. Men often hold hands or touch each other’s backs in a display of refreshing platonic affection that would send homophobic folks into fits. Combine all this with honking traffic, burning incense, people hawking yak wool blankets and trekking gear, delectable but bowel-melting Indian curries, obscenely grimy squat toilets and shredded prayer flags flapping in the wind, and you get a small idea of what this town is like.

One day, as we were walking around the toppled buildings of Durbar Square, a sun-beaten and weathered man thrust a crumpled postcard of a child dressed up for a festival at me and whispered harshly, “I can take you to see the Living Goddess.” As a rule, I always say no to whatever it is. A split second of hesitation as you process whatever is said, allows a vendor/tour guide/hawker to pounce and you will spend the next 10 minutes or more trying to rid yourself of the hanger-on. But my interest had been piqued so I went home and googled it. I seriously doubted that I had heard correctly or that it was as dramatic as I imagined, but low and behold, there was truly a living, breathing God holed up in a palace 10 minutes from my hotel.

The Royal Kumari, as she is called, is girl of 5 years old (as of 2019). Although her life began as a mere mortal baby, she was selected to serve as the living deity at the ripe age of 3 by exhibiting a number of important qualities and skills. The reason for which I’m not even going to try to explain. The Cliff Notes version of the selection process goes something like this: In order to be considered as a potential Kumari, one must have a neck like a conch shell, the body of a banyan tree and eyelashes like a cow, among many other attributes. She must also have not lost any teeth, be unblemished in physical appearance and health, and be from the Shakya caste. Once a child of the perfect aesthetic is found, she must then endure tests of her bravery by spending the night with the decapitated heads of sacrificial animals in a candle lit temple. The final test of the Kumari is to select the previous child-God’s belongs from an array of objects. If she fails this test, a new candidate is brought in for examination. Once the tests are complete and a series of cleansing rituals are performed on her body and soul, the deity enters her body and she remains divine until her first menstruation or until she bleeds heavily due to illness or wound.

She is confined to her palace in Kathmandu. The Kumari leaves only for ceremonies and is paraded through the streets on a palanquin, never wearing shoes or walking in public again. She is dressed only in red and always has a “fire eye” painted on her forehead. Yearly, the King seeks her out and kisses her feet in exchange for her blessing. She presides over a selected handful of gift-baring devotees that have come to her palace hoping that her power will heal their illnesses or predict their futures. The intriguing bit of all this is that once she is divine, she has very little contact with her family. She has caretakers and a refined group of playmates that are well-aware of the strict rules regarding her holiness. While the Living Goddess cannot be ordered to do anything, she must still be guided through life, bathed, educated and instructed on how to behave.

I can’t help but think about my own two children as I read all this. One of my children is 3 and the other is 5, and generally speaking, I find them to be pretty clumsy, emotional, loud things, with infrequent bouts of incitefullness, mediocre tact and adorable naivte. I love them because they are my little snuggle muffins, but I can’t even imagine what it would be like if they ruled with unrestricted abandon as the Kumari does. I can barely get my kids dressed to go out in the morning, let alone force them to wear formal garb and allow strangers to kiss their feet day in and day out. Although, they would be delighted to receive presents and be carried around all day.

That’s when I read the best part of the entire Wikipedia article: how to interpret the Kumari’s actions during a visit with her holiness. Typically, the Living Goddess will receive her guests in silence and this is considered the best outcome. However, if she cries or laughs during a visit, it can be a sign of impending illness. If she rubs her eyes, one can expect imminent death. If she claps, one should fear the King, and if she picks at the food offered to her, one can expect financial woes. Essentially, she acts just like a regular kid.

The Kumari Ghar (her palace) was too close not to go see for myself. I headed back to the square where I first heard about the Living Goddess. I wandered around looking for a red palace in all the broken-down rubble buildings, maybe one with surrounded by people hoping to catch a glimpse of the elusive child. I walked and walked, and finally found what I was looking for. It was much smaller than I expected. It was said to be a sign of her omnipotence that her palace remained relatively intact following the earthquakes, given the fact that many of the surrounding buildings had been flattened. Ornately carved window boxes surrounded the 3-story building, but other than that, it really didn’t look like the home of a divine being. I passed the threshold and cautiously entered the internal courtyard of the building, expecting that I was going to be escorted out for trespassing or not being Hindu. But alas, my expedition went unchallenged. I walked around the small courtyard hoping that she might make an unscheduled appearance at the window. Tourists came in, posed for Instagram selfies, got bored and left. Unsanctioned tour guides popped in, attempted to gain employment, gave up and left. And at no point during my visit, did I hear a peep from the open-air windows of the palace that would indicate that there may be a child or children present. Eventually, I too lost interest and left while the Living Goddess of Kathmandu remained just as elusive and mysterious as she started.

Taking pictures of the Kumari is strictly prohibited, but a glimpse of her is supposed to bring great luck.

Let’s Go Where the WiFi is Weak

Published on April 28, 2019January 25, 2020 by karaLeave a comment

We left a balmy 85 degree Bali, Indonesia in the morning and found ourselves 4,600 feet up in Kathmandu by nightfall. We pulled sweaters out of our bags as we ran across the tarmac and felt instantly vindicated for carrying unused warm clothes around for so long. It goes against my penny-pinching instincts but we have learned from experience that it alleviates a lot of marital strife to pay extra for someone to meet us at the airport. Thankfully, a stout Nepali fellow from our hotel greeted us as we exited. Our trolley cart got caught in the potholes, a kid tantrum-ed and fell asleep which basically incapacitated one adult, there were what seemed to be a million taxi drivers yelling at the same time, clouds of dirt were illuminated by the headlights of many freakishly small minivans, and it smelled primal. Welcome to Nepal. Namaste dammit, namaste.

Of all the Western-mind blowing things in Nepal, there are a few completely bonkers places that I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you about. The first of which is Pashupatinath Temple. We have seen a lot of temples in the past 8 months, but this one was our first active Hindu temple. Without passing any judgement, Hinduism to an ignorant outsider is really intimidating with its pantheon of multi-armed, half-animal, half-human deities and kinda sexual overtones. Also intimidating are the 300ish very aggressive monkeys that live on the temple grounds. So, we hired a guide to better understand the temple’s significance AND to offer another line of defense against the straight-up rabid primates. I kid you not, he told us not to even look at the monkeys as you pass them because they would attack. We carried the kids on our backs, and Falcon spent the next hour with his face buried in my hair as he channeled his inner “happy place” far from Kathmandu.

I was blessed by a Sadhu, but of course I smeared the red powder and it looks like I killed someone.

Dating back to 400 B.C., Pashupatinath Temple is one of the most sacred temples in the world and (to make a long story short) is said to be the built on the site of where Shiva somehow lost a horn, which I think we can all agree is a pleasantry for “penis.” The inner sanctum of the temple is rightfully reserved for practicing Hindus and is a pilgrimage site for people nearing death, as it is believed that those who die in the temple will be reincarnated as a human, regardless of their actions during life. Because of this, elderly Hindus who are not likely to recover, are housed in a section of the temple as they await death. When a person does finally pass away, a ceremony is conducted on the banks of the Bagmati River or “Mini-Ganges” as our guide called it. The glorified, trash strewn stream runs through the center of the temple, and bodies are hauled down the water’s edge, washed with water running down from the temple, and then carried by family members to platforms for cremation. As you can imagine, we were totally fascinated. Funeral pyres burned in the background, and troops of the rage-screaming monkeys leapt from building to building, as our poor guide waited for us to finish peppering him with questions that were just utterly and completely mundane for him. Like, “Duh, of course the bodies and wood ashes from the cremation are just pushed into the river afterwards.” And, “No, it doesn’t bother anyone that there is a concert happening directly across the river from where someone’s mother is crying hysterically as a fire is lit in her husband’s mouth.”

Three funeral pyres on the banks of the Bagmati River.

Male relatives preparing a family member’s body for cremation by placing it on the concrete slab by the river and then pouring holy water from the temple over it.

Like this place isn’t wild enough, there is a shrine to Kali, the destroyer Goddess, where human sacrifices used to be made. Today, the Gods are appeased on holidays with animal sacrifices of cattle, ducks, goats and rabbits inside the walls of small stone temple adorned with an array of sexual acts. The temple is also home a handful of sadhus, or wandering holy men, that live in caves on the property. It is said that they have renounced worldly life and hope through meditation and contemplation to improve their karma and that of the community at large. The few that we saw sat together asking for exorbitant amounts of money in exchange for a small blessing and photo with their insanely long dreadlocks over your shoulder. Finally, as I mentioned earlier, after the cremation the remains are swept into a heaping, smoking pile in the Bagmati river-stream. Over the course of the 1-2 hours that we were there, we saw four cremations and it struck me how much debris was entering the water just from this temple. When I asked the guide about it, he mentioned that it was part of the cycle of life. Women do their washing downstream as the ashes and fat from the fires act like soap and help to clean clothes, and further down, the muck from the river bed is harvested to make bricks. All I could think was that although one’s soul maybe coming back as human, it seemed a little disheartening to know that one’s body is coming back as someone else’s tidy undies.

Tropic Like It’s Hot

Published on April 11, 2019January 25, 2020 by karaLeave a comment

I fully intended on writing another post about life in Chiang Mai and how we had acclimated to life abroad, including getting job offers, figuring out the subtle nuances of Thai culture like their disdain for confrontation, finding out how to get the local’s price for admission, and how to pass a police checkpoint without paying a bribe. But honestly, we left Thailand at a rather unpleasant time and felt more than ready to leave. Between the terrible smoke that left us house bound for days and the fact that all of our friends had left six weeks before, there wasn’t much left for us there. We counted down the days until Ben’s teaching job concluded and then hopped aboard the first flight out there. I am happy to be moving on, although I will miss watching Ben eat mysterious chewy gut morsels from the vendor down the street and being able to hop on a public bike with a kid in an ergo on my back.

But whenever I get nostalgic, I remember that if we hadn’t left we wouldn’t have stumbled across the Gili Islands in Indonesia. I get most of my inspiration for our adventures these days from all of the travel families that I follow on Instagram. A few people had posted epic pictures of white sand beaches, turquoise waters, gorgeous sunsets so a few internet searches later, some negotiation with a driver/boat company and off we went to Gili Trawangan, off the coast of Lombok, Indonesia.

We loved it from the moment we arrived. The tropical island is petite. No motorized vehicles are allowed but it can be circumnavigated in less than 2 hours on a bike, faster if you don’t stop for drum circles and beers on the beach. Aside from bikes, the main mode of transportation is the “cidomo,” a horse-drawn cart. The jingling bells and the clip-clop of the horses’ hooves can be heard as they trot down the street, and the lack of scooter noise and congestion is a rarity in Southeast Asia. The horses haul tourists, heaping piles of luggage, building materials, trash and anything else that needs to be moved about the island. The main street follows the waterline and is lined with restaurants featuring hamburgers, pizza and pasta, as well as Indonesian favorites like gado-gado (steamed veggies with peanut sauce) and mie goreng (glorified ramen noodles with veggies and a fried egg on top), and a bakery—much to Falcon’s delight.

We spent a relaxing five days eating breakfast overlooking the ocean and the islands beyond, swimming in the seaside pool and riding bikes. The kids happily played in the white sand making crab condos out of the coral and shells. The island is also home to a large number of sea turtles that swim in the shallows and poke their heads out of the water periodically to breathe. Ben and I took turns snorkeling while the other multitasked as a turtle spotter and foreman for various crustacean construction projects.

As comfortable as the beach was, we decided to hire a private glass bottom boat to take us to a few of the best snorkeling spots. Since the kids don’t like to get their faces wet, they were able to see the tropical fish and sea turtles through the glass while Ben and I took turns in the water. It was a really nice way to involve the kids in our activity and Blue even swam with us in the ocean with her floaties. (Usually, our activities are mutually exclusive–either kid or adult centered- so finding something that met all of our needs was really a parenting win!) The neighboring island of Gili Meno is home to a few really cool sunken statues that I didn’t even realize were on my bucket list until we arrived in Indonesia. Our guides really went overboard (pun intended) to earn their $60 and managed to shew away about 30 sunburned snorkelers so the kids could get a glimpse of the statue through their little sea window as we drifted over it in the boat. Click here to see the statue.

Our hotel–Pondok Pundi Village inn, came complete with breakfast, DVD player and free-range pet rabbit and guinea pig

Up next on our Indonesian itinerary was the lush, hipster tourist town of Ubud on the island of Bali, Indonesia. For those in search of spiritual healing, chakra alignment, sexual awakening, demystifying energy, finding your oneness, basically anything alternative and witchy, Ubud is the place. It was highly recommended by our friends who became breathwork shamans there last year. So naturally we had to check it out. And it was lovely…mostly. We hired a driver for a day to take us to the rice terraces, a coffee plantation and a temple at a pace the kids could keep up with. We walked through the local art market, and with an embarrassing number of bribes of ice cream and extra iPad time for the kids, we were able to take about a one-hour hike in the forest.

We also made the mistake of taking our small children to the Sacred Monkey Forest Sanctuary. The sheer number of monkeys that freely roam this jungle pathway is absurd. Not to mention, they are used to praying on tourists for supplemental snacks and have no problem scampering up your legs, rifling through any pocket and taking your stuff. Whether it be food, sunscreen, an article of clothing or your phone—if they take it, you let it go or be ready to brawl with a tooth-baring primate and 200 of his buddies. All of our research said that it was a good place to take kids. It was recommended by friends of friends and there were plenty of pictures online of children enjoying it. The entrance lived right up to all our expectations. Macaques climbed through the trees and groomed each other and their babies within feet of crowds. But the monkeys became more brazen as we moved deeper into the forest and away from the caretakers with slingshots. At one point, we were confronted by a monkey on the trail who beelined toward Falcon. Of course, things escalated within seconds as the kids started shrieking and moving quickly to escape—all things that the sign at the front said not to do. Ben grabbed Blue while I tried in vain to shield Falcon, which the monkey rightly assumed was an act of aggression. I couldn’t pick him up and risk not having hands free so ended up burying Falcon’s face tightly against my legs in an effort to get him to avoid fighting should the monkey jump on us. In the end, the monkey let us off with a warning bite to Falcon’s pants as we huddled together. Then thankfully it allowed us to retreat in one petrified, crying huddle back out of the forest. Falcon, for one, is counting down the days until we board a plane bound for anywhere outside of the realm of monkeys and “traveling dogs,” as he goes into full-blown panic mode at even the mere sight of one now.

Blue taking an ambulance ride to the ER in Ubud

As it turned out, it wasn’t spiritual healing that we needed in Ubud, but real honest-to-God medical care. As if trapped in the movie Final Destination, we narrowly avoided a calamity with the monkey only to visit the emergency room the next day. I thought that the kids would be taken down by a scooter while crossing the street, or a jellyfish, or food poisoning, but alas, it was a one-inch step into a coffee shop that sent Blue hurdling face-first into a metal chair. Blue managed to avoid hitting her nose, her teeth and her upper lip but obliterated the gums above her front teeth in the bloodiest fall to date. Her pain tolerance must be through the roof because she didn’t complain at all despite having bone exposed. If fact, I didn’t even realize that the wound was so bad until she fell asleep that night and I thoroughly inspected it with a headlamp. Once at the emergency room, the doctor cleaned it and applied antibiotic ointment and she healed within a week. Crisis barely averted. The ambulance ride, visit with the doctor, and medicine cost us about 2 hours and $50, but it reinforced why we went to the trouble to obtain extra medical insurance and get all of the recommended travel vaccinations.

More on Bali to come. And if anyone is interested in seeing a photo of Blue’s wound, just message me. I love gory things but I know that not everyone else does.

Traveling with Toddlers: Practical Gear for the Family on the Go

Published on March 11, 2019January 25, 2020 by kara1 Comment

One of the biggest challenges we face while traveling is what to pack to keep the kids (and therefore ourselves) happy. Long gone are the years of slinging a backpack over a shoulder with just a couple of outfits, a Lonely Planet guide and a camera. Oh no, packing has become a straight up science in this family. We study it, we practice it, we test it, we tweak it and then test it again. Sometimes we fail miserably, like the time that we tried to take the Tube in London with two umbrella strollers, two kids, two backpacks and three rolling bags. As you could imagine, it was a cluster****. Anyway, the point here is not that we have failed, but that we have learned about what works and what doesn’t from years of trying.

Traveling can be stressful but it’s so much easier if you start out your journey with the right kit for your crew. Also, a combo of gear that works for one group may not be the right set-up for another family, or the same family but several years later. This what we have found to be the most helpful and long-lived equipment for our traveling family.

Carseats and Luggage Straps

CAfter hauling our full-sized carseats across the country once, I vowed never to do it again. If you have a baby it’s probably easier to bring a reclining carseat, especially if it clicks into your stroller, but for older kids with huge strap-in carseats the Ride Safer Travel Vest is a lifesaver (both literally and figuratively). Since my son was on the smaller side for his age (like 30 lbs and 4 years old) and couldn’t safely ride on a booster, I had to search all over the internets to find a safe, smaller alternative to the massive standard seats. This vest may look like he is going parachuting, but it meets the safety standards for the USA and is rated for kids weighing 30-60 lbs. It is a little pricey at $150-ish dollars (a bit more for all the straps and pillows) but it only weighs 2 pounds and fits into a tiny backpack which, in my opinion, might as well be priceless.

Even more mind-blowing is the Mifold Grab and Go Booster Seat. We have friends that swear by this and have jettisoned their regular boosters and carseats at home in favor of these. This booster is the size of a large wallet and weighs under 2 lbs, meaning that a kid could carry it in their backpack or it can fit in a glove compartment. It’s perfect for traveling and at $35, it won’t break the bank! It also meets the safety standards in the USA and children must meet size/weight requirements- 40 lbs, 40 inches tall and 4 years old. Our kids aren’t quite that big yet so we haven’t tried it yet but I’m counting down the days.

Don’t despair if you have a toddler that doesn’t meet the weight requirements for the boosters mentioned above. Carseat Travel Belts may be the way to go if you absolutely must bring an unwieldy carseat. Strap that sucker to your rolling luggage with your kid in the carseat and roll the whole thing around. Carseats can be checked at airport counters or at the gate if you want to keep it to haul your kid around the airport. It may be the best $15 you could spend.

As a last resort, most car rental companies can provide carseats for a fee. I’m not advocating this but if you are traveling abroad, some countries don’t require carseats for children at all, but that is a risk/reward decision that only a parent can make.

Baby and Toddler Earmuffs

Earmuffs for the win!

If you have a child, then you need Baby Banz Headphones. They are a life-saving piece of equipment, and not just for the traveling family. The adjustable, padded, noise-dampening headphones are perfect for newborns through toddlerhood. I can’t even count the number of times that we used them in restaurants, at concerts, for fireworks, parades, mowing the lawn, vacuuming, and running the blender. Not only do they protect sensitive little eardrums from loud noise, but I also credit the headphones with reducing some of the anxiety that my kids have when facing new environments. Granted, this is anecdotal and may be specific to my children, but I have found that reducing a small bit of sensory simulation allows my kids to keep their cool in situations when other families are frantically scrambling to leave. While there are many brands to choose from, some seem tight enough to permanently misshapen a baby’s head, other headbands just can’t physically withstand the force of a toddler on a destructive streak, so do yourself a solid and just get this go-to brand.

Baby Carriers

4-year old Falcon sleeping off the jetlag in the Ergo 360

Strollers have their utility but if you are traveling frequently, or find yourself on cobblestone streets or facing massive potholes, a baby carrier is an absolute must-have. There is a virtually unlimited number of baby carrying devices but my personal favorite is the Ergo 360, well because as the name suggests, we find it the most ergonomic and comfortable kid hauler around. The 360 degree feature allows a baby to be held on the front, the back, on the side, as well as facing in or facing out, and so many options make it perfect for kids as they get older and heavier. Granted, our children are still on the small side but we will still carry our 5-year old when he gets tired and needs a break. We don’t travel around the world just to stay within a toddler’s walk of the hotel so virtually any piece of equipment that allows us to stay out longer, later and go further is worth the price. The Ergo 360 is roughly $160 and has lots of color and fabric choices.

Sleeping and Eating Gear

Avoid extra charges at hotels for cots, AND more importantly keep all those gains made in sleep training by bringing your own portable baby crib. I consider this a luxury item not worth hauling around; however, other parents swear that it is an absolute requirement. If you fall into the later group, I have done some research and the UniPlay Portable Playard is highly recommended. It weighs only 8 pounds, folds up to the size of a briefcase and for $75 you can have the peace of mind that your baby won’t roll off the bed, that a toddler won’t get out of bed and flush all their toys down the toilet, and that your nearly potty-trained kid won’t pee on an AirBnB mattress. Plus, you can throw a fitted sheet on top to provide shade at the beach, etc. Ok, I have just convinced myself that I need this.

I have noticed in our travels that some countries are more baby travel-friendly than others. One small example is the lack of availability of highchairs. The Inglesina Portable Highchair attaches quickly to tables and can be used anywhere from picnic benches, restaurant tables, hotel desks, etc. It can hold a child up to 37 pounds and collapses down to 4.2 pounds making it easy to carry in a backpack or diaper bag. Our friends just traveled for 5 months straight with their 1-year old and swore that a portable highchair was their most highly recommended kid-travel accessory.

I have to admit that we get a little kickback from Amazon if you buy from the links in this article, so go ahead and DO IT! This stuff is really great, but if you disagree, leave me a comment and tell me why.

Our Year of Adventure

Published on February 10, 2019March 11, 2019 by karaLeave a comment

Our plan to travel the world was conceived many years ago, but was set into motion in September 2017. It had been 4 years since Ben and I had gotten married, 3 years since we had become parents, 1 year since I had been laid off, and to be honest, our lives had become a little stagnant. In order to spice things up, I ended up drafting a list of options from which Ben could choose: 1) move to another town where I could find a meaningful job, 2) try for a third baby or 3) travel full-time with our children. Each option had implications for our careers, for our relationships with our friends and family, and for our finances. After careful consideration, we decided to follow our dreams and started planning for the trip of a lifetime.

From the get-go, I think most people doubted that this trip would come to fruition. We had jobs, a house, a small savings, cars, loans, friends and family, and commitments just like everyone else. It’s hard for anyone to imagine leaving it all behind. But honestly, the hardest part of this journey so far was merely just making the decision to go. The rest of the pieces fell into place after. Fast forward to now, nearly 6 months into said trip, and I still feel like our plans are met with incredulity. It’s probably just me, but I feel ridiculous when I call home and tell my mom things like, “Ben wants to hike to Everest so we are going to Nepal.” I know her brain is flashing red and she’s racing through questions like, “Who really goes to Everest? How does one afford that? Don’t you need oxygen and gear to withstand a polar vortex? Where do you find a sherpa? Where will the kids be?” I imagine her silently rolling her eyes when I tell her that we are considering a side-business selling cardstock (purchased in Vietnam, carted across the world for 6 months and then sold on Etsy), and how far-fetched is sounds to say out loud that we plan to live with a family we’ve never met–in France–for free–for a month. But all of it is true.

When we planned this trip, I anticipated having a grand adventure, full of family time, visiting new sites and ticking off a few boxes from our bucket list. However sappy it sounds, what we’ve found is that everything is possible. That is not to say that we haven’t had some misfires. Anyone remember THIS post? But overall, we are proud about what we’ve accomplished so far and are excited about what we have lined up for 2019. Here’s a peek into where we’ve been and where we are going.

I am acutely aware of how absurd it all sounds that we tote our toddlers around the world, but once we settled in Thailand, it just became the norm. We have been inspired by families we have met that piece together jobs that allow them to travel or live wherever they want, that don’t let having one or two or three or four kids keep them from going where their hearts desire and that support each other in following their dreams. We are so glad that we made the decision to live and travel abroad, and we feel incredibly lucky to be living this life.

I also want to shout out some families that we have met in person and/or communicate with on Instagram that are truly #livingthedream. 🙂 All have quit their normal 9-5 jobs and are traveling the world with their kids. If you have a minute, check them out.

Two Toddlers Take On…Chiang Mai

Published on January 28, 2019 by kara1 Comment

We have lived in Chiang Mai with our two toddlers for half a year and have explored this city from top to bottom. Many articles recommend popular activities like the Night Safari and visiting elephant sanctuaries, and while these places are great fun and should definitely be explored, they are not always ideal for families with small children. Believe me, we tried to take our littles to the night bazaar and between navigating the tourist hordes with kids below hip height and the approaching meltdown period before bedtime, we nearly quit Chiang Mai altogether. So, we made it our mission to search out the most family-friendly places in Chiang Mai and this is what we found:

Ginger Farm

This lush garden restaurant is the epitome of Thailand, and it’s in the middle of the city. The restaurant features artistically presented fresh, organic, local food. It is a working farm and daycare, with a hay mountain for kids to climb, an art area, a sandbox, swings and a bevy of animals to look at. There is a bamboo bridge over rice paddies and water buffalos. If you are ok with your kids getting absolutely filthy, there is also a mud slide into a water pit. Luckily, I have never been there when it has been open so I have never had this particular debate with my children.

They don’t appear to have their own website but you can click on the headline for a link to their facebook page.

This sounds lame but go to the malls.

Every single mall has an indoor play area dedicated to the entertainment of children, and unless you grew up at a carnival, they are bound to blow your mind. For 150 baht (equivalent to $5.50), your child can play in a contained area with a blow-up bouncy slide, ball pit, trampoline, build a house with life-sized Duplo blocks, go shopping with kid-sized carts and fake food, play with balloons, swing and climb for an hour or two. Let your kids burn off some extra energy, rain or shine, while you sip on your Thai iced tea from the sidelines. Or, you can play too for an extra 30 baht. Furthermore, some places have a stamp card where you pay for 5, and get one free.

http://www.promenadachiangmai.com/

http://www.mayashoppingcenter.com/

http://www.centralfestival.co.th/index.php

http://www.centralplaza.co.th/index.php

http://www.kadsuankaew.co.th/en/

Rent a golf cart at the Chiang Mai Zoo

This is different than the Night Safari, which is on the opposite side of town. The zoo is a hilly, car-centric place but is a great for little kids to see a variety of animals at a fraction of the price of the Night Safari. You can feed hippos and giraffes, see penguins and pandas, and get up close and personal with porcupines and tortoises. You can walk, or ride the tram for a small fee, or best yet, rent a golf cart to explore the park at your own pace. There is a small kid’s playground and library which is so-so. The real bizarre but awesome part is that there is an amazing water park right in the middle of the zoo. Kids and adults alike can play on the splash pad-tunnel-water playground for an additional nominal fee. This blessed oasis is a welcome break from heat and humidity and is virtually guaranteed to tucker out even the most rambunctious of kids. The zoo is open 8am-5pm every day.

Eat lunch at Nic’s or Triplets

Both of these restaurants cater to families and are located a little bit out of town. If you don’t mind paying an obscene amount of money for totally average food and phenomenal playgrounds, these places are for you. Trampolines, sand pits, massive climbing structures, slides and swings are surrounded by tables from which parents can supervise their offspring. Parents can relax a bit and let kids scream, run and play without fear of upsetting other patrons. Good luck taking your kids to a regular restaurant after this.

http://nics.asia/en/homepage/

https://www.tripletseatandplay.com/

Siam Insect Zoo

I had very low expectations for this place. I expected to find butterflies and grasshoppers pinned to bulletin boards and maybe a couple of fish tanks with spiders, so I was pleasantly surprised by how interactive the exhibits were. Yes, there were lots of dead bugs displayed on the walls, but there were also hundreds of tarantulas, a butterfly garden, lizards, and centipedes. Kids could spray stick bugs with water bottles, touch lizards, find millipedes in loose soil and even hold a scorpion. There were several large iguanas and a few tortoises for good measure. The only downside is that it is located in Mae Rim, which is about 20 minutes outside of Chiang Mai. Songthaews will take you there, but if you have your own car, you could make a day of it and also go to the Mae Sa waterfall, snake farm, monkey show, extreme sport center and/or strawberry fields.

Are you visiting Chiang Mai with your kids?

Stay tuned!! Comprehensive 3, 5 and 7-day itineraries for family-friendly activities in Chiang Mai coming soon.

The Blonde Dilemma

Published on December 28, 2018January 29, 2020 by karaLeave a comment

We come from a homogenous part of Southern Oregon. Our town consists of a whopping 20,000 residents, mostly affluent and retired. In fact in 2011, the Census Bureau confirmed what is plainly seen, that our town is also 91% white. I love our small-town life, but as our children grow older, I worry about their cultural naiveté (to put it politely). For us, a big part of the appeal of traveling is to teach our children and to remind ourselves that the world is a big place. People are a variety of colors, their experiences are diverse, their beliefs, their standards of living, their behaviors, and their languages are all different. In planning for this trip, we had hoped that we would come back with greater respect and acceptance of others, to have more compassion and to learn more about what is socially acceptable in other countries and why.

It’s has been fascinating to watch my family navigate the grey area between cultures. We are not tourists but we are definitely not locals either. We decide when to speak English and when to speak Thai, when to wai (bow with palms pressed together to show respect) like the locals do and when to shake hands like Westerners, when to haggle over the price of a taxi and when to just let it go and pay the foreigner price, when to dress conservatively and when to just wear what is comfortable in the heat. Ben leans more towards integration. He weaves his scooter through the traffic, he takes the time to learn the Thai numbers although they are rarely used and he eats things like fried chicken neck for dinner. I definitely fall into the Western category. I am content using a few Thai phrases, I wear shorts and tank tops most days, and will go out of my way for cheese.

While I am mostly comfortable in navigating this farang (Thai word for foreigner) limbo, the one place that I struggle is when people engage my children-which they do constantly. People genuinely seem to love children in Thailand but I had no idea of the insane level of attention that our light-haired kids would attract. I personally think that my offspring are model-material, but to be fair (pun intended), they are probably just average white kids. In the beginning, it was nice to receive such a warm welcome. We encouraged our kids to say hello when people stopped to look at them. We didn’t want to be rude so we let strangers take pictures. We passively watched as good-intentioned folks lightly pinched the kids’ cheeks, touched their arms and rubbed their hair. At first, we all went along with it, but things changed over the course of a couple of weeks. Once, we were standing outside of a mall playing in a fountain when a horde of Chinese tourists came up. Worked up into a frenzy, they engulfed Falcon like busy bees surrounding a blooming flower until we intervened. Similarly, I walked Blue down the aisle of an airplane to the bathroom on a flight to Vietnam and zombie arms shot out of the seats to touch her over and over as she passed. Although not as gratuitous, the ogling is a daily occurrence. About half of the time, people ask if it is ok with us if they take pictures of the kids. The other half hover around snapping away, sometimes blocking Falcon’s escape or trying to get Blue’s attention by touching her. I want to raise polite and socially confident children, but the constant, unwanted attention is starting to yield the opposite reaction to what we had hoped.

: Taking pictures of Falcon and Blue while they play

We appreciate that blonde hair and white skin is considered lucky and beautiful in many Asian cultures. We should accept that this is part of the culture that we chose to live in. But, we also have a duty to protect our children. We say no when people ask to take pictures of the kids, but they often just move to a different location and take pictures anyway. We position our bodies to shield them from people showing too much interest. Instead of becoming more tolerant and accepting of other people, my kids are becoming increasingly shy and scared because they don’t understand the significance of their features. They just know that they don’t want to do anything to create additional attention. They don’t want to be independent, they don’t want to speak Thai, and they don’t go out of their way to make friends. The irony is not lost on me. We left our racially uniform town to experience multiculturalism, only to find that our children are now in the fishbowl.🤦‍♀️

So, I think the take away message here is this: As a parent, it is my duty to make my children feel safe first and foremost. My job is to demonstrate kindness to others and hope that even if my kids don’t engage, they are still witnessing the behavior I hope they will one day enact. But furthermore, I have the opportunity to teach my kids and other adults about respect. Respecting physical boundaries should be universal and someone’s personal luck or curiosity or trophy photo doesn’t trump another person’s feelings or safety.

Have other families experienced this? How do you handle the attention? I would love to hear your comments and feedback.

**I am aware that the title picture with Blue on the beach may be disturbing to see. She was in no way being harmed and had been fine with photographs until this very moment. Ben was standing just out of camera shot and stepped in immediately when she started crying.

Full-blown Crisis Mode

Published on November 30, 2018January 29, 2020 by kara2 Comments

Existential crisis, that is. One might expect this from a recent college grad: someone undertaking a gap year abroad, before they start their career, find a significant other to settle down with and have kids. This is not what is expected of a 35+ year old woman who has graduated from college twice, who can count trips abroad on hands AND toes, who has had a career, found a significant other (uhhh, twice), settled down and had kids. We have just completed 100 days abroad and I thought that I would have been neck-deep in projects by now. I would be volunteering in an orphanage, I would be amazing my family with culinary Thai-American fusion delights, I would be on my way to fluency in Thai, driving a scooter carefree down the roadways, writing children’s travel books, maintaining a successful travel blog and spending my spare time becoming a svelte, tan Muay Thai fighting mom warrior. Alas, this has just not been the case.

Ben finished his TEFL (teaching English as a Foreign Language) certification and began working part-time as an English teacher to young teens. This has really challenged him and generally keeps him out of trouble most weekends. His obsession with CrossFit resurfaced briefly until a new, minor injury sidelined him. He is taking some private Thai lessons and has a scooter to zip around town. The kids have found their groove going to daycare twice a week and have made some expat friends that meet around town for playdates. However, we had an epic fail trying to enroll them into extracurricular activities. It turns out that American kids (or maybe just my American kids) are not as disciplined as Thai kids, and they spent the majority of a karate class making faces at themselves in the mirror. Needless to say, the teacher very politely refused to let them return so we spend our afternoons playing soccer in the yard instead.

I’ve found that even abroad, I’m only really good at cleaning the house. I compared my idleness to all of Ben’s activity and started stressing out. I also found myself wondering why we came here. What did I want to get out of this trip? Was it meeting my expectations? And most importantly, how will things be different in Oregon when we return home? I looked back on my original bucket list to see how we were faring and I was pretty pleased to see that we had ticked off many of the items.

Make paper out of elephant poop
Take a Thai cooking class
Ride a motorcycle across Laos (Ben)
Lose the baby weight
Scuba dive (Kara)
Raise a lantern during Loi Krathong –the Lantern Festival
Fight Muay Thai
Volunteering TBD
Take a junk cruise in Halong Bay, Vietnam
Eat lots of new fruit
Explore the Gardens by the Bay in Singapore
Teach the kids how to swim
See the sunrise over Angkor Wat
Master the art of using chopsticks
Teach English (Ben)
Jump off the cliffs at Chiang Mai’s Grand Canyon (Kara)

I started to have a change of heart about this crisis-thing. Moving abroad with two little kids and setting up a new life takes time and the fact that we got on a plane with one-way tickets is an achievement all on it’s own. It doesn’t necessarily have be defined by rushing through the typical backpacking checklists of 1) see the temple, 2) ride the elephants, 3) try Muay Thai once, 4) ride a tuk-tuk, etc. Furthermore, I should be proud of the things that I have accomplished this week. I rented a car and taught myself how to drive on the left-hand side of the road–in traffic–where lanes are just guidelines and speed limits don’t matter. I completed a doula training course and I can either use these new skills to help my friends in labor or start a brand new business. And I weighed myself at the little gym in our building and I have semi-intentionally lost 10 pounds since we arrived 3 months ago. Ben may be more decisive and outgoing in his planning, but I was accomplishing things too.

I’m still hoping to discover some hidden talent for like, reiki, drum circling, essential oil application, or shamanism. 😉 Instead of fretting over getting weird diseases, I really want to rekindle my passion for studying diseases. I dream of learning a useful language or writing something and getting paid for it, starting an Etsy shop, or even doubling down and getting all those plastic surgeries I’ve joked about having over the years. Ultimately, I decided that the goal of this gap year should be to do what makes us happiest. If that means that we move to Nepal for a month so that Ben can hike to Everest base camp, then that’s what we do. If it means that I get Thai massages twice a week and grow out bushy eyebrows from not plucking, then that’s what I do. If Falcon wants to eat peanut butter for every meal, and Blue wants to play in the sand on a beach for hours then we will try to accommodate them (within reason). Hopefully, in the process we will learn more about ourselves, discover new passions and skills to achieve them, at the very least, get all this stuff out of our systems so that we can return home refreshed and more well-rounded.

Angkor What? Tips on How to be a Responsible Tourist from Lessons Learned in Cambodia

Published on November 15, 2018November 15, 2018 by kara2 Comments

“I don’t like dealing with money transactions in poor countries. I get confused between the feeling that I shouldn’t haggle with poverty and getting ripped off. -Alex Garland, The Beach

The wheels of the plane left the runway and the nose lifted into the air. The buildings, the trees, the cars and the neighborhoods rushed by faster than my brain could comprehend. Before I knew it, we were passing over the circle road surrounding Chiang Mai and I could see the perfect square of the moat outlining Old Town. The golden tops of the temples glistened and the brown ribbon of the Ping River meandered through the city. I could see it all through the window of the plane, because for once, I was actually able to sit next to the window. I had left my children with their sticky fingers and sloppy kisses back in Thailand while Ben and I flew to Cambodia.

The anxiety and trepidation that I felt abut abandoning my babies in a foreign country while I vacationed without them was short-lived. I don’t know who I am trying to kid. We desperately needed a short break from each other. The kids were undoubtedly going to be spoiled by their grandparents who were visiting from Oregon, while Ben and I got to do things together as a couple again. We planned to spend long days touring the Angkor Wat temples, having a few drinks out at the unchild-friendly time of 9pm while also having long overdue conservations without constantly stopping to address the kids’ demands or praise them for their newest accomplishment or break up a fight, etc.

However, what we didn’t plan on was a taking a trip out of Siem Reap and to the floating village of Kompong Phluk. Intellectually, I knew that poverty in Cambodia was worse than most other (if not all) Southeast Asian countries but this was our first experience really seeing it in person. I naively thought that we were going on a short tour to something like a floating market or to see some unique architectural dwellings. It took approximately one minute after our arrival to be completely overcome with massive guilt for exploiting the locals by ogling at their lifestyle. I overheard some tourists being judge-y about the kids not attending school mid-day or the amount of trash in the neighborhood, most everyone seemed moved to be financially supportive. But it was not clear what avenue would provide the most bang for our buck.

The floating village of Komplong Phluk, outside of Siem Reap, Cambodia

In the choose-your-own-adventure of charitable gift giving, would spending money in their makeshift markets make the biggest impact, or paying extra to go on another boat ride with local guides or offering to buy pencils for the kids’ school? So, it was during these moments of indecision and shame that I was motivated to do a little more research on the best practices for responsible tourism and here’s what I found:

Let Children Be Children

There is nothing like denying a begging child to really make a person feel like a world class shit, but giving money to youngsters makes them less likely to attend school and to be continually used as the bread-winners for the family. It is better to find a way to employ adults, rather than children. Allow adults to be guides, hire a local tuk-tuk driver, support organizations that provide income to parents, rather than to children.

Gentlemen who had been maimed by landmines working as musicians to support their families at Angkor Wat

Haggle Less Hard

I am insanely frugal so this one is really hard for me. I have to remind myself constantly that I don’t need to get the best possible deal and that I can afford to be ripped off a little. The vendor needs the money much more than I do, and in all likelihood, I would just spend the extra couple of dollars on coffee or beer anyway. Furthermore, supporting local artisans by buying local arts and crafts, rather than mass-produced souvenirs can be also beneficial.

It’s Not Always About the Money

Giving items such as bags of rice, school supplies like pencils & paper, or health-related items like band-aids or diapers, and new or lightly-used clothes and shoes are all very important, non-financial gifts that can go a long way. In the developing world, medical care can be very poor to non-existent. Donating blood is a fantastic way to give back and can be arranged at local hospitals. A hospital would be a good place to do some research and get more information on the specific needs of the area as well.

Donating blood at Angkor Children’s Hospital

Consider Your Purpose

When booking tours or visiting places were people are disadvantaged like schools, hospitals or orphanages, really evaluate what the intentions are for visiting. Imagine being an orphan and seeing rich people with no intention of adoption parading through your home? If the goal is to provide a service or to teach a skill, then continue by all means. But if the visit is to gawk at or to teach yourself or your kids a lesson about poverty, then consider either doing something different or figure out how to make your visit more meaningful. The same can be said for volunteering. Do you have a valuable skill to impart? Are you taking a job from a local person and undermining them by offering to do it for free?

* I have focused on humanitarian topics in this post, although I know that there are plenty of environmentally sustainable issues to consider as well. We truly enjoyed our visit to Cambodia and plan to go back with our children someday. I hope that the research that we have done will help to us make better choices as tourists and to better help those less fortunate than ourselves. Please feel free to comment if there are other ethical tourism ideas that I have not mentioned.